The Year of Living Gratefully
Despite the overt risk of sounding like a clearance bin self-help guide, I will admit that at certain points in my life, I’ve struggled to express enough gratitude. Perhaps this affliction is not uncommon amongst those who loosely match the public perception of my previous self: young, ambitious and outwardly fabulous.
But in middle age, gratitude is something that I find myself trying to summon more and more - and thankfully, it eludes me less and less. Part of this evolution is just the wise, natural march of age. But honestly, I owe a good chunk of this quiet victory to my profession.
In turn, I constantly remind students to find and seize gratitude in the college process, its work, and its associated transitions. I surely do. And there is much on offer.
If you are a junior just starting out, this may seem odd to you. Gratitude for something that feels like a daunting, perilous schlep into the unknown?
Well, yes. If you do this process in any way that even abuts right, I guarantee you will grow exponentially in the year ahead. You’ll also have copious fun. You will meet fabulous people, many of whom can walk backward while praising student research opportunities and ignoring plainly visible beer cans in public waste receptacles.
You will become a far better writer and a more organized person. You’ll get to travel to random places that you’ve previously only flown over - and you will learn that you really don’t have to pay parking tickets issued by campus police.
You’ll discover that you can spend quality time with your family while simultaneously yelling at them. Critically: You will learn more about what makes you tick. And what makes you happy. And what gets you excited. And not because someone else told you these things - but because you found your way to them with your own instinct, your own reflection.
If you are a senior just wrapping up, or taking a break after Regular Decision - well good work. But you need gratitude, too.
First, extend some to yourself. You burned it out. You made it over the hump. Perhaps you got exactly what you wanted in December. Perhaps you didn’t (but trust me, you will end up someplace fabulous in the end).
Second, the next 12 months will be among the most profound and magnetic of your entire life.
I’ve found that we often have the most fun when the curtain is either going up or down - and in the next year, you will have both. You will get to celebrate yourself over and over again - and others will be there to celebrate you, too. It’s one of the only times in your life that you will be able to say “I’d rather have the cash” and not appear rude.
You will, for one last moment, relish the familiar.
And then, like magic, everything will be novel. You will realize that you miss your parents, and be happy that you had them to support you. You will get to make a raft of adult decisions for the first time. But the consequences of those decisions will be yours, too: an onus that will tee up opportunities for maturation and humility. This might mean that footage of you barfing in front of your dorm becomes a hot ticket Instagram reel. Your peers may think it funny - the Dean of Students will not.
You may fall in love for the first time with the person across the hall. They may not love you back. No matter. You’ll listen to Anti-Hero on repeat while running the stairs at the campus stadium and get over them in five minutes - and then you’ll meet someone new at the top of the stairs.
You’ll finally get to read all the books banned in Florida. It will take a while.
For all of this, dear students: you will and should be grateful. Doing so will help you become a better human and a better you. It will help you live your best life. And from the lessons of my own I can conclusively say: the more gratitude you discover in these years, the more you will inevitably discover as your life flows through adulthood.
And remember that gratitude comes alive when we express it. So tell others that you are grateful for them. Tell your family you love them. Thank people profusely, and hug people consensually. Write notes of encouragement on white boards. Buy your zealous but helpful lab partner Blue Bottle coffee, and take your overly forgiving roommate out for 2am pancakes. Send your hard-working college counselor a Saks gift card because they read your Carleton supplement 17 times.
However you show it - show it. Make it matter. Make it meaningful. Make 2024 the year of living gratefully.
